Sex things: it turns out there's tremendous variation in how much pressure people want applied to their genitals
You can ask more or less directly
But it's easier to say "harder/more/yes" than "gentler/less/no", so it is much better to start off erring on the side of gentleness
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everyone in my entire life has erred on the side of too much by a factor of literally 5-20 😬
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Same! But maybe this is at least half our fault for not identifying/knowing how to express what we want
Tbh, I didn't really recognize explicitly it was "too much" until pretty recently
It's *definitely* OK to tell people though
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it took me a long time to learn i was allowed to have boundaries
legitimately just not a problem i’d ever heard a man describe having so i didn’t consider the possibility that i was having it
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