tryna think about what concepts around myself I hold that hold me back
There's a lot of conflicting memories that build into different narratives of who I am and I think it's causing wild mood swings which a narrative switches
Conversation
I wanna see myself as pretty and hurt girls without invoking like 3 different traumagenic emotional narratives about why I'm a bad person for existing, is that so much to ask for
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This excerpt from coherence therapy is laden with their jargon but kinda points to the phenomenon of being psychically attacked by several different beliefs that all support each other any time you try to feel good about yourself
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This shit sucks!! I wanna DO stuff but to progress on bad feelings it takes like a couple of hours to access the surface level pain, explore the emotional connections, work through resistances, cry things out, remind myself of good things, and put myself back together again.
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I am going to get even better at magic
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