i donāt understand this. what does it mean for something to be ājust funā? i donāt experience hardly anything as ājust funā
Conversation
I don't mean that it's "just fun" in the sense that it has no other emotional dynamics involved, I mean that the fun is a sufficient explanation for being into it.
As to what that means... it's a physically pleasurable creative social activity. What's not to like?
1
3
the way i interpret your language youāre talking as if fun is an intrinsic property of activities and that doesnāt make ontological sense to me. obviously some things are fun for some people and not others and thatās exactly the phenomenon under investigation
2
8
most of the common kink stuff is stuff i would not find fun personally, i donāt find pain fun, i donāt find degradation fun in either direction, etc. in my view thereās a lot to be explained here!
1
7
Do you also feel that there's a lot to be explained about why some people are into D&D and some people are into football?
1
7
some but less?
1
5
For what it's worth, I do think it's generally not that hard to understand why any given thing is fun, and it's usually not that complicated and for reasons that generalise. Individual variation is usually more down to whether you can / it's worth it to get into it.
4
6
this is really not my experience of kink-flavored activities at all. i would find a lot of them not just unfun but slightly traumatizing to do
2
4
I think it's probably worth separating out two things:
1. There are things in this that are fun.
2. There are things in this that I actively want to avoid.
The second doesn't preclude the first and I think has a lot more variation.
1
4
I feel like you're also looking at fairly extreme examples of kink? Like almost nobody jumps in at the deep end of pain and degradation kink, and there's already a lot of variation at entry level dom/sub stuff.
1
3
Replying to
thereās something funny going on here on my end. thereās something like... the idea that someone could find kinks pleasurable *by default* implies a level of comfort with sexuality iāve never had and it brings up a lot of fear and shame and jealousy for me
Replying to
If it helps, a lot of this is a perspective that I've arrived at through trying to model other people. I don't exactly have a well-functioning healthy sexuality myself, though I think we have different problems there.
3
pleasure in general and sexual pleasure in particular is not something that comes at all easily to me and i guess iām feeling thrown off at the idea that itās... simple or abundant or something, to you? thatās an alien experience to me
1
2
No, it's not abundant to me, but I'm working on getting to a point where it is.
Hmm. Stepping back a bit, are you familiar with the brake/accelerator model for sex? Basically you can be turned on (accelerator) or turned off (brake), and if they don't work in sync you go nowhere.
1
3
Show replies