“...the unconscious belief that one isn’t supposed to have more pleasure of any kind than one’s parents had”
HmMmMmMmM
Conversation
“Sexual excitement also requires that we momentarily become selfish and turn away from concerns about the other’s pleasure in order to surrender to our own, that we momentarily stop worrying about hurting or rejecting the other person.”
sounds impossible but ok 🧐
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“Because shame and rejection are common experiences, many common sexual fantasies function to negate them. Characters must be drawn, details chosen, scenarios plotted, and roles defined to this aim.”
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i’m just going to pretend he never mentioned the DSM 🤢
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“The threatening identification with a sad parent is replaced by the exciting fantasy of a happy one. Sexual fantasies are constructed in order to counteract the potentially debilitating effects of identification.”
(“identification” = sth like merging, here)
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“Getting turned on involves transcending the past, counteracting dangers, disconfirming beliefs, undoing traumas, soothing pain, and finally, finally laying claim to pleasure.”
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well that's like, a lot.
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jeez i know right i don’t understand how anyone ever manages to be turned on
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