Hmm I think regular women’s bodies can be beautiful in some way that’s maybe only taken to the extreme by models etc, and the same thing is going on here. It’s not like you have to be this dude’s strength/agility/body fat % to have attractive masculine traits...
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is it not like that? this is legitimately unclear to me
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I absolutely believe you do not need to look like a professional athlete to be attractive to women, yes
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FWIW my sister and I distinguish two types of attraction. Forgive me, we came up with this when we were v young but it’s still useful: “potential” and “execution.” My male family members have no idea what we are talking about:
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“Potential” is like how attractive are they in a photograph, like a drivers license or while sleeping or something, where you can’t see any expressiveness or personality.
“Execution” is the opposite, how attractive they are based on animation/expressiveness/personality
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this is interesting! remember reading some stuff a while back about how when asked to rate empirical attractiveness men rating women tend to have more consistent inter-rater agreement than women rating men do. maybe women put more weight on the execution side then men?
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maybe the reliance on pictures is an inherent disadvantage for men on apps since you can only show off the potential side and have no way to show off execution abilities
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yes
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been really enjoying people riffing off of this topic, here's my own riff: the internet is a feminine medium and dating apps structurally can't showcase masculine qualities on masculine terms twitter.com/QiaochuYuan/st…
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twitter is a much better dating app than any actual dating app, for everyone i think but especially for straight men; you can actually display your personality interactively, offer genuine social proof, etc.
which is why i hate existing on left twitter on main where i feel myself so fucking constrained
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might explain why i barely tweet there anymore, just a lot of retweets
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hm, so by this logic twitter is twitter more masculine than the rest of the internet? or just more masculine than dating sites?
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seems more masculine to me. i think part of is is about constraints. part of streotypical masculinity is being willing to ignore/disregard social constraints. you can't do that well in constrained apps like dating apps. but twitter is unstructured enough to allow it.
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i'm not fully sure what the link is, but my brain keeps insisting that something about this tweet is relevant. twitter.com/pervexists69/s
i think it seems like dating apps formalized the rules to such an extent that the socially competent can no longer make them not apply?
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Replying to @lisatomic5 @QiaochuYuan and @Kirsten3531
1. Informal rules favor the socially competent.
2. Create formal rules to create a framework of stable expectations for the socially maladroit.
3. The socially competent discover that the formal rules don't really apply to them.
4. Go back to 1.
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