Conversation

But I assume that's not what QC meant - he meant that it's much more likely that one of me and you would get a message than him and Visa, because they are boys.

brooke is in sf

@gptbrooke

Yeah, good point. Boys are gross. 😂

😔

i don’t want to make this a whole thing but i actually believe that i am disgusting and it hurts to hear other people confirm that even as a joke

nihilism disrespecter

@meaning_enjoyer

One of the strangest things that dating women/kink has taught me is that it is precisely the aspects of myself I was conditioned to believe were "gross" that are most attractive.

lisatomic

@lisatomic5

I get it if you guys don’t want to, but could you say a little more about what things you mean by “gross”? Eg. body hair / physical traits, or sexual urges/impulses? (Those were guesses at things that I think are attractive, but where I can imagine internalizing the opposite)

idk it’s a whole gestalt thing. somewhere in me i’ve internalized that men are just fundamentally essentially disgusting. inside and out, the whole package

sexual desire is a big part of it (cf. “guys literally only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting”) but in my tender bits it feels like all male desire is disgusting, all male emotion is disgusting, men are fundamentally ugly, all sorts of stuff like that, it’s a mess 😬

lisatomic

@lisatomic5

Do you think this is related to submissiveness? Like, if I want sex I’m bad, so I would rather have it passively... inflicted upon me? (Bc I would have a similar thing but re: guilt/shame of wanting sex at all.)