First ~tipsypost!
I’ve read that men don’t often get compliments. I was surprised, bc I feel inclined to give compliments to men basically all the time. (And do?)
But also often seems very weird if I imagine the genders reversed, so I do it much less often than I’m inclined.
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Like: if someone makes a video about their work, and I message them “omg so handsome 🥰!” That would be *really* weird, right?
If I posted a neutral/work-oriented video and got a lot of comments on how I looked, I would feel pretty conflicted, I think.
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I think women share more selfies etc, where it is more clearly ok to publicly compliment them?
I’m a bit less certain about men, unless they post themselves... idk, dancing or something? Or a selfie I guess?
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I also recognize some sort of fear I have about complimenting too many men. Like, if I were to just go around telling men how I thought they were attractive, or looked good today or whatever, I’m *pretty* sure I’d either get judged about it, or people would think I was insincere.
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When men receive compliments from a woman, they assume that the woman is flirting with them.
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Ok so how do I resolve this with what said? Do I just have to compliment in a way that makes it clear I don’t have romantic intentions?
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What if it’s not that clear whether I do have romantic intentions (as is the case for lots of relationships between men and women, I think)? Do men feel a need to clarify this? (Not asking rhetorically, genuinely curious.)
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i think many men are bad at playing in that sort of liminal in-between uncertain space and it’s very regrettable because we could be having a lot more fun if we were - we want certainty but we’d benefit from learning how to have fun without it 😅
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I'm trying to make it public knowledge that:
1. I am attracted to my female friends
2. I will not be creepy about it
With the women that accept this bargain we're free to compliment each other without it being a phase change from "friends" to "flirting".
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Note: "getting past your sexual attraction" doesn't mean "denying it". I'm attracted to 90%+ of my female friends. Most of them know it, and I'm not going to lie about it, and this has a net positive impact on our friendship. Creepiness is bad, honesty and vulnerability is good.
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This is such a Chad way to be and I fucking love it! Its like you are separating attraction from romantic or sexual interest???
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