I also recognize some sort of fear I have about complimenting too many men. Like, if I were to just go around telling men how I thought they were attractive, or looked good today or whatever, I’m *pretty* sure I’d either get judged about it, or people would think I was insincere.
Conversation
When men receive compliments from a woman, they assume that the woman is flirting with them.
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Ok so how do I resolve this with what said? Do I just have to compliment in a way that makes it clear I don’t have romantic intentions?
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What if it’s not that clear whether I do have romantic intentions (as is the case for lots of relationships between men and women, I think)? Do men feel a need to clarify this? (Not asking rhetorically, genuinely curious.)
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i think many men are bad at playing in that sort of liminal in-between uncertain space and it’s very regrettable because we could be having a lot more fun if we were - we want certainty but we’d benefit from learning how to have fun without it 😅
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visa has good tweets about this and i’ve learned from them
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan and @codeic
what a lot of straight guys don't get (IMO likely more because of trauma / bullying etc) is that attraction and flirting isn't an on-off switch. Sure, people might generally be more or less interested for a start, but really we're all flirting all the time, just to different degs
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Oh yeah, Visa gets it. But most men are so starved for love/affection/affirmation that they turn it into a binary
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Seems kind of a catch-22 then
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it’s rough stuff :/ lotta men running around starving for affection with horrendous attachment wounds and lotta women deciding it’s not worth their time and energy to do anything that might poke them
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So many of us are basically unacknowledged abuse and neglect victims... yeah
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i will never stop acknowledging it
GIF