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when I moved to the states at 16 I had a profound sense of disconnect from people like never had before. I grew up in Russia & Germany, but my English knowledge came from media. add subtle differences in emotional expression and I was suddenly "blind". it was very isolating
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan and @goblinodds
also not to be that guy again but the easiest way to grow up believing that other people can’t tell how you’re feeling is to have parents who never bothered to read and respond to your emotional state 😬 and then to be surrounded by other people who also had such parents 😬😬😬
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I remember that I had good enough English to talk freely but plainly. I didn't get cultural references, in-jokes (came in the middle of HS), or variants in expression. often couldn't tell sarcasm or vulnerability. I learned, over a few years. My dad never did, and it upset him
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It makes me wonder if some people live in that state permanently/long term, if they're traumatized and/or not properly emotionally socialized as kids; and later do not fit in at school.
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Replying to
rat aesthetics feel like a trap in this case. yes, open, honest and direct conversation is great to learn; but I feel rats also de-prioritize feelings and intuition. you can't express everything you feel, no words fit precisely & enough. but you can guide others to understanding
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