there's also an intimacy i've never had and never will have, which is with a family i felt loved and understood by. as much as i like the "found family" trope there is something legitimately special about your literal actual family, which is that they *can't stop being family*
Conversation
we talk a lot about "atomization" here on the birdsite and a big component of what that means is that it's normal to leave behind everyone you love except possibly a romantic partner to move cities for a job. everyone is disposable and we all know that about each other
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i suspect it may be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to form deep friendships under these kinds of disposability conditions. marriage is now the only ritual we have for credibly publicly declaring to other people "this person is not disposable to me anymore"
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i was gonna go somewhere loftier with this but i ran out of steam. the emotional core is just that i'm lonely as shit and don't really know what to do about it. probably some of you are the same and, well, here we are on the birdsite together, hi
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hi. sorry you're feeling lonely 😔
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wanna do some press ups with me?
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what would "with" entail here lol
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sit on your ass and occasionally send tweets like '25!'
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heh. and and i have a little group chat on messenger where we keep each other updated on the exercise we do, any interest in joining that 😛
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I have a psychological problem which makes me ignore all group chats 😭
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ha no worries. in any case i'm about to go lift right now so there's your exercise tweet for the day 😛
I did 10 pressups 5 pull ups and 20 overhead presses since I started this thread
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