we normalized moving away from our high school communities to go to college then moving a second time away from our college communities to get a job
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i think we've mostly forgotten how much those transitions sucked (those of us who went through them) but for me the transition from college to post-college in particular was such a jarring shock, i went from having all my social needs met to having none of them met
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kinda fucked up how we’ve established that achievement and material accumulation are ultimately more important than our desire for meaningful community and a sense of place
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"If someone is contacted less often than the defining rate for more than a few months, emotional closeness will inexorably decline to a level appropriate for the new contact rate"
This is why moving, graduate college, etc. suck so much—your entire graph recedes outward
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i had a similarly jarring experience graduating college and i think it’s really shitty that my scene was forcibly disbanded by forces outside of our control
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"hey guys you should definitely spend 4 years bonding deeply with each other and then scatter to the winds planning your lives separately unless you happen to also be having sex with each other"
also wild to consider that college is the only american pmc institution where friendship networks are even allowed to develop long enough to sate our hunger for connection
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I wonder how many people who go back to grad school after working a few years in an unfamiliar city do it because they're lonely? I know a few who admit that.
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"I'm convinced people get married mostly because they want a stable friend in their life." - Reddit comment
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Grad school for mew was mainly a means of prolonging friendships and permitting the trial-and-error establishment of viable modes of distance-friendship
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