digging through my high school poetry on my old deviantART account
bit of a blow to see the transition from creative, trippy, experimental stuff that was still remarkably well-crafted even though I clearly remember writing many of them in *minutes* without even trying...
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saw the same kind of transition going through my livejournal :/ there’s this shocking contrast between how warmly and creatively i write at age 14 vs. how like disconnected and kinda jarringly bitterly i write at age 18
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and it’s also pretty clearly due to a combination of a bunch of breakups i didn’t know how to process + the sheer weight of being ground down by how much work i was doing in high school, to my eyes anyway
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(but then i got it back! at age 27! and it had been gone for so long i didn’t even recognize it as something i’d had and then lost until i went back to these LJ entries)
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I spent a bit of time just now on finding my way back, and I think it worked
very much requires something like Non-Doing
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mhm yeah i wouldn’t have been able to get it back if i was trying it was a happy accident, words just started bleeding out of my fingers
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