i have reacquired access to my middle school livejournal account. pray for me
Conversation
i completely forgot that i was sporadically updating this account until the end of college
this was senior year. Little Did I Know how poorly that relationship would end jeez
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oh i forgot about this part
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wow i was such a boring writer in college jesus
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skipping over a lot of really really cringe stuff, no screenshots, it's just bad
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okay i think i finally went back far enough to find something that's kinda cute. senior year of high school
Replying to
oh wow kinda forgot about this. yeah, this sucked really bad. think this one incident might've convinced me i was incapable of doing logistics
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(skipped over a ton of stuff again, mostly me blathering about girls)
completely forgot i even had journals from elementary school hmmmm they might still be in seattle
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completely, completely forgot about this yikes
it's probably very suspicious that i can't pin down from memory when they got divorced to within a narrower range than like 4 years
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i'll spare you the details but overall i'm surprised how much time i spend complaining about having too much boring homework. memories of high school colored really strongly by how well it ended but it looks like i might've just been miserable in the beginning
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fuckin yikes
this isn't exactly something i forgot but boy do i avoid thinking about it too hard
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been extremely striking watching my writing get *better* as i go back. i write with more heart as a 14-year-old than i would for the next 10 years after that easily, with the sole exception of when i'm talking about girls
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cannot believe i correctly understood this distracting-myself-from-my-feelings pattern when i was 14, i wouldn't understand this again for another 12 years
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look at little QC casually writing poetry too
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look at little QC writing directly to me in the future 🥺
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I WILL PROTECT THIS PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL
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this is just nuts. sorry, i don't know how repetitive this all looks to you guys. all of these problems i thought i started having in grad school (mild asthma, lack of energy) were apparently problems i started having in high school and then completely forgot about
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there's so much poetry and microfiction scattered in these posts that i just don't remember writing. there's a creativity i had easy access to and then just lost access to for ages, what the hell
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from the beginning of high school 😭
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