Conversation

Jun 15, 2020

well I do obv feel captive af lately so that might explain why it would come up in the absence of the crushing depression I felt captive in when I originally started having these kind of desires. super plausible & can always blame pandemic on demons if I miss the spooky narrative

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jun 15, 2020

having experienced crushing depression before ive noticed it can complicate noticing much milder forms of depression (me? depressed? but im like, functioning and i can feel stuff what r u talking about!?) but soon as i do notice and label it, gets easier to handle

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jun 15, 2020

u can think of it as a tiny demon with a like a pin needle trident, like a shoulder demon from looney tunes tryna drag u down just an inch

@maybegray

Jun 15, 2020

I have been weirdly tired and scattered lately and the world is collectively in the middle of a mass trauma so although it does sound totally ridiculous to me it would explain a lot if I was depressed in some new unfamiliar fashion 🤔🤔🤔

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jun 15, 2020

yes <3 for me it feels like this protective, heavy blanket, a functionality born of just a touch of numbness and dissociation. its a technique my body Knows has worked before, and i thank it for trying its best, and even accept it, up to a point

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jun 15, 2020

a question thats very alive for me lately is how much to fight these adaptations and how much to let them be. sometimes it really is te wiser option not to fight it, but on the other hand it can grow and stop serving you

Hormeze

@hormeze

Jun 15, 2020

going with the demon metaphor, like, u can smoke a joint with your demon and get to know him a bit, even learn from him/ benifit from his services but dont get toooooo comfy cuz hell take advantage of u

@maybegray

Jun 15, 2020

mmmm yes like... I know I can’t completely trust this part of myself to just take the steering wheel while I climb in the backseat and have a nap but at the same time I used to almost run myself off the road in terror if I noticed it was in the car at all; there’s a happy medium