Conversation

Visa ✈️ SF (Aug 2-14)
@visakanv
I’m still not sure what’s more common: people who don’t know how to have fun, or people who have a warped/masochistic sense of fun (ie, people who “enjoy” being miserable) what do you think 🤔
  • people dunno how to fun
    40.3%
  • people prefer misery
    22.8%
  • they are the same coin
    19.9%
  • Idk / show results
    17%
548 votesFinal results
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the overpoweredginger
@AdmiralOPG
fuck it, you got me started: people don't enjoy being miserable. nobody enjoys being miserable. bad things are not good; don't make me go over there. BUT in the rule Carolyn lays out, everything you have/do is the direct result of you wanting that misery *a non-zero amount*
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the overpoweredginger
@AdmiralOPG
In the example Carolyn gives, she literally could not force herself to leave an abusive relationship *even when she realized it was abusive* once she meditated on it, she realized her bf was giving her this intense level of affection & that she enjoyed being sought after so hard
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the overpoweredginger
@AdmiralOPG
this is *not* because Carolyn enjoyed being in an abusive relationship, but rather because the relationship was the only way (at the time) for her to meet her subconscious craving for such intense love/admiration/the need to be needed
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the overpoweredginger
@AdmiralOPG
it's like if I'm really craving a burrito but it's 1:30am and the only place open is the Taco Bell over in a crappy side of town that I've never had good service at, but I make the trip anyway because I really need a goddamn tortilla with some beans wrapped up in it
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the overpoweredginger
@AdmiralOPG
I'm not doing it because Taco Bell has the GOAT burritos; I'm doing it because I need that fix and nowhere else is open This is the key takeaway of Existential Kink: You are doing things that make you miserable because you don't know any other way to get what you need
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the overpoweredginger
@AdmiralOPG
anyway, sorry for going off on you I do a lot of EK, so I see a lot of other EKers use it at the surface-level "bad things are good actually" to ward off introspection and glamorize their shitty behavior makes me wish I lived in a time it was legal to burn witches at the stake
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-??? w/ COVID 😷)
@QiaochuYuan
i think i get what you're trying to point at but i think you're conflating "bad things aren't good" and "people can't enjoy bad things" i have my copy of EK open and carolyn says pretty clearly "part of what kept me hooked into the relationship was the joy of resenting him"
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