shifting into @harlequinean makes several things uncomfortably clear about my ordinary boy personality, maybe the biggest of which is that i deeply believe that i'm not allowed to be happy or have nice things or even want very much, by default, most of the time
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(maybe it's only women really. i never worry that i won't get praise from men - i get that effortlessly - and affection i never expect and never try for)
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Is this simply attraction? Desire for reverence? Or is this living the cultural stereotype of attraction being a signifier of worthiness? Or do you reverse women in a way that men don't get?
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So stoked for you to read Already Free. It says epically incisive things about these dynamics.https://twitter.com/QiaochuYuan/status/1250478215358902273 …
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yeah i have a lot to integrate and i have a hunch reading this book will help
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