at a sex workshop and thinking about a thing @leashless said once about (IIRC) how western neo-tantra fails because people shouldn't approach sex stuff before coming to terms with death
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the messaging of this workshop is super hedonistic ("have better sex forever!") in a way that i know just works well for americans but that i still personally find intensely frustrating. hedonism hides behind pretending we aren't gonna grow old and die
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it's easy along the personal growth path to get stuck in thinking that the point is to feel better. getting past self-denial is important but feeling better is radically not the point and pursuing that becomes narcissistic eventually
![Groke [norn]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1181399541951545344/B5NRGYr-_normal.jpg)
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curious if by "radically not the point" you mean that happiness is a secondary value to (??) or that happiness is straight up not valued compared to other values (and what those other values could be)
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happiness is an occasional side effect of the actual, real, good thing, which is perhaps unnameable; in that sense it's a useful indicator to track, but directly optimizing for happiness is goodharting
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You’d Probabaly like The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker. It’s quite dense, but good. Talks about the western world’s hidden denial of death in a lot of things. Sorta psychotherapy and sociology combined.
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nice, thanks!
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