I have this weird dichotomy of 'loving' humanity, like I want the best for them and to achieve fulfillment and a lot of my goals are driven by this, but also that I don't 'like' humanity, as in I don't really want to interact with it and it makes me feel bad
humanity is the patient on the table, and you want to perform the operation and heal the patient but you also don't want to hang around and smell the festering wounds all the time after work either
