it's frustrating how hard it is to lose the last ~30 pounds, but my life has improved immeasurably since I stopped trying to accept my (previous) weight and accepted that I wanted to be thin
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growing up many people are constantly being coerced into doing things by parents, school, society broadly, etc. and the desire to avoid punishment from these people can come to overwhelm nearly any approach-want
this is before getting into _internalizing_ other people's coercion and punishment into an inner critic
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from a more neutral IFS-style perspective, thinking of people as collections of parts broadly, "want" equivocates between what your different parts want; being confused about what you want means your parts are in internal conflict
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internal conflict may include conflict about knowing your wants; various parts of you may believe that other parts of you want things that are unacceptable and so may be preventing you from acknowledging that you want them
End of conversation
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