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so, taking that train of thought seriously: given that we don't have villages, how might we redesign dating to produce honest signals of trustworthiness? my first thought is to add more stress: do harder stuff together sooner, e.g. take a class, do a hard escape room or sth
second thought is to pull in other people: meet each others' friends and parents sooner, hear all the gossip. relationship is not a 2-player game; if a relationship is gonna go anywhere it needs to be embedded in a shared community, so make that explicit in the process
this on point tweet from @david_perell goes in here somewhere, h/t @tasshinfogleman:https://twitter.com/david_perell/status/1041829822287233029 …
Gauntlets are great. By facing challenging things together, there's less to be afraid of. This might break the relationship, but if it doesn't, it'll be stronger for it.
i really hope that "gauntlet" here refers to a specific activity i could pay an organization to set up as a date because that sounds great
Escape rooms are fake. Try road trippin in a national park in a camper van, sightseeing as much as possible, and trying to work from the road at the same time, a few months into the relationship. We almost killed each other, but grew soooo close together in result.
The best and the worst thing about a camper van is there’s literally nowhere to hide when you’re upset. Especially when it’s cold and raining outside, and the nearest town is 100km away. You have no choice but to figure something out together, or die trying.
Someone I know who met his wife online would joke that dating-to-marry was the process of co-designing a memorable, meaningful, and enjoyable user experience, that generates more agency and care. 
seconding on doing hard things together, willingly entering stressful situations each with the goal of learning how the other navigates them
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