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anyone thinking seriously about how to redesign dating? i think it's pretty clear that 1) modern dating is super broken and 2) finding people healthy long-term romantic relationships is one of the best things we could do for them so let's fix it already
random topic to get started: i don't see anywhere in modern dating that you get strong positive signals of trustworthiness. many people are substituting trustworthiness = you have the same ideology as me, and this has nothing to do with trustworthiness
hotel concierge gets it: https://hotelconcierge.tumblr.com/post/173526578129/shame-society …pic.twitter.com/asXriGNOwz
it would be great if we still had villages. if you date people you've been in community with your whole life you have a whole lifetime's worth of data on how trustworthy they are, not only from your experience but from gossip. you don't get any of that with a tinder rando
so, taking that train of thought seriously: given that we don't have villages, how might we redesign dating to produce honest signals of trustworthiness? my first thought is to add more stress: do harder stuff together sooner, e.g. take a class, do a hard escape room or sth
second thought is to pull in other people: meet each others' friends and parents sooner, hear all the gossip. relationship is not a 2-player game; if a relationship is gonna go anywhere it needs to be embedded in a shared community, so make that explicit in the process
this on point tweet from @david_perell goes in here somewhere, h/t @tasshinfogleman:https://twitter.com/david_perell/status/1041829822287233029 …
the problem IMO is that people are framing dating as a direct activity, when you can achieve 10x, 100x results by framing it as a peripheral activity
i like where this is going but can you say more? peripheral to... testing for long-term compatibility?
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