The desire to optimize is a disguised form of fear; every optimization is "get me the fuck away from this scary thing, as far as possible."
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Love *isn't* always homeostasis. Imagine the immigrant who moves his family half way around the world in hopes of offering his children a better life. Imagine the architect, designing cool buildings and caring for the experiences of the people who will use them. etc. etc.
If you're a lizard and it's cold, homeostasis means moving to where it's warm. Homeostasis isn't incompatible with large and drastic action. But in any case this wasn't intended to be an argument, it was intended to be poetry, although that wasn't well signaled.
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Huh. I had no idea you were going for poetry! Had you swapped out "desire to optimize" and "homeostasis" for "perfectionism" and "stability", I think I'd have understood you! To me, "homeostasis" and "optimize" are very specific and claim-y words.
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My inner mathematician likes protecting specific words like "homeostasis" so much that I wanted to say "Unlike the lizard, the architect never gets to the point where there are enough cool buildings. Love often manifests as open-ended ambition, and that's not homeostatic."
End of conversation
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