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Spectrum of Ecstasy talks about a place beyond hope and fear. I haven't been able to stabilize this at all but I think I've seen tiny glimpses of it. Sometimes I'm powered by something that doesn't feel like hope or fear, but like... "rightness"?
Jōshin from the Monastic Academy talks a lot about "giving up completely" and that feels like the move I need to make, but I don't know how really. Reminds me of @Meaningness's take on charnel ground practice.
"The point of viewing all reality as a charnel ground is to annihilate existential hope": https://vividness.live/2012/08/22/charnel-ground/ …pic.twitter.com/FOHkijaulW
Also this poem, which I wrote in a fit of rightness and could probably benefit from chanting: https://thicketforte.com/2019/01/11/good-news/ …pic.twitter.com/jnnCNTTypZ
I think of hope vs. fear or despair as similar to the eternalism/nihilism dichotomy. On the note of Spectrum of Ecstasy, it mentions that samsara always feels like it’s going to work right until you reach the finish line—and there it absolutely fails you.
This applied to experiences trying to stabilize hope / despair. “It was 99% effective until the moment it wasn’t, so it’s my fault and I need to try harder.” No, it’s not you: it’s failure by design. It seems like a path to existential / ontological certainty until it isn’t.
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