I've been thinking about emotional "power sources" for behavior. Lots of it is powered by fear these days, which has predictable unfortunate effects. Last year I did a lot of stuff powered by hope, which I eventually learned isn't that great either. That shook me, to learn.
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(Similarly fear becomes intertwined with a hope of losing fear. They're non-dual or something, I guess.)
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Spectrum of Ecstasy talks about a place beyond hope and fear. I haven't been able to stabilize this at all but I think I've seen tiny glimpses of it. Sometimes I'm powered by something that doesn't feel like hope or fear, but like... "rightness"?
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Jōshin from the Monastic Academy talks a lot about "giving up completely" and that feels like the move I need to make, but I don't know how really. Reminds me of
@Meaningness's take on charnel ground practice.Prikaži ovu nit -
"The point of viewing all reality as a charnel ground is to annihilate existential hope": https://vividness.live/2012/08/22/charnel-ground/ …pic.twitter.com/FOHkijaulW
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Also this poem, which I wrote in a fit of rightness and could probably benefit from chanting: https://thicketforte.com/2019/01/11/good-news/ …pic.twitter.com/jnnCNTTypZ
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ahh! i can feel so much resistance at the thought of not having hope in the picture. it feels pretty load bearing in my current configuration, but i hadn't considered its shadow before.
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Yeah, it's tricky stuff. Don't know that it's good to try to skip ahead or something? I really needed that hope in some sense and it did some really good stuff for me. And then there was a time that I was ready to learn about the limitations of hope, but that came later.
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