I think growing up I thought if I just had a bunch of romantic relationships I'd gradually learn how to get better at them, through experience. I no longer think this works by default. Some thoughts about why:
Show this thread
-
This Tweet is unavailable.
-
Some people might get lucky enough for this but I wouldn't bet on it. It's a lot to ask, and your future partners have scars too. Most of the development work I think is best done outside of the context of a relationship, with the help of friends, coaches, therapists, etc.
Expecting your partners to "save" you in this way is itself a pattern, one I've fallen into, and it's not that great :/ Dovetails with anxious attachment. When you project a savior onto your partner it becomes harder to see the real person underneath.
-
-
This Tweet is unavailable.
-
Ah, got it, thanks. I think people don't have much of a choice wrt serial monogamy (or serial polyamory for that matter); if you keep not finding a partner you want to commit to then what else are you gonna do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- 6 more replies
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.