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As a result, in the beginning of 2018 a weight lifted off of me that had been paralyzing me for years, and I felt amazing, more amazing than I could remember feeling, for months. One of the many effects of this was that I had zero desire to procrastinate.
It became very obvious that my desire to procrastinate was almost entirely a desire to avoid bad feelings, by numbing myself with e.g. a TV show or the internet instead. When I got enough of a handle on my bad feelings, the procrastination evaporated.
What I did instead was engage with people a ton. Talked to a bunch of people on and offline, went to a bunch of workshops and parties, generally had a blast. Wrote poetry. Left grad school. Lost my virginity!
Nowadays the procrastination comes and goes but when it comes I can usually tell what I'm avoiding and I have more of a sense of humor about the whole thing.
I wrote a bit about the second time this weight-lifting-off-of-me thing happened to me here:https://thicketforte.com/2019/01/15/unclogged/ …
(Going gluten-free genuinely was an important step here too, I generally feel more tired / anxious / depressed when I eat things with gluten in them, although I don't really know if gluten itself is the problem.)
Feeling this exact issue here. I watch my time, aware that I am procrastinating on Twitter / lurking online looking for a sense of community that can’t only happen online, instead of doing the projects that would prove me worthwhile to said communities. Thank you for sharing.
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