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In the meantime I attempted to consent to sex when I was 21 and the experience was deeply traumatizing, in a way that I wouldn't recognize and work on until much later. Long story.
I would prefer to say: it's hard to cause participation, and it is mostly not happening. Many people are suffering and hurting themselves and each other, in and out of the bedroom. We did not get taught how to love ourselves and each other well. But we can learn.
As far as privacy: mostly it seems people want privacy to protect themselves from bad or nosy people. That makes sense. But I think in many ways privacy is part of the problem, e.g. it hides abuse in families and romantic relationships.
Cf. the fascinating "birth and death of privacy":https://medium.com/the-ferenstein-wire/the-birth-and-death-of-privacy-3-000-years-of-history-in-50-images-614c26059e …
As far as what's my business: in general I think telling people "the thing you're doing is bad and you're bad, stop doing it" mostly doesn't work, and when it does work it's borderline abusive. I think there are better ways for us to talk about how to be human together.
("The thing you're doing is bad and you're bad" is distinct from boundary-setting: "the thing you're doing is hurting me, and if you keep doing it, I'll leave." No need to appeal to the concept of badness here.)
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