Apoptosis808, The Goblin King

Okay, Kronk isn't funny - he's sweet but dumb and annoying. Also, there is NO WAY he beats Gaston in a fight. I mean, Gaston went toe to toe with the Beast.... And also Gaston has guns. Kronk stands a zero percent chance of victory. And Pacha is so one dimensional it hurts.

The ONLY reason Gaston is the most interesting character in Beauty and the Beast is because the rest of that movie is mediocre at best. You right though Gaston got them guns

Bell isn't worth it Gaston

What if Gaston's whole schtick is an act because early on in life he became convinced that getting huge and acting that way was the only way to win someone's heart? Imagine he's secretly an intellectual and LeFou constantly has to rein in his usage of words like 'expectorating'

I'll go a level deeper on you. The whole thing is actually a discussion of how dark things can get when someone fixates on NEEDING that one romantic interest. He's so obsessive that he eventually concludes he has to kill her boyfriend and isolate her by locking her dad up.

so.... who wants to co-write the screenplay with me where we tell the whole story from Gaston's perspective and create a cautionary tale about toxic masculinity and obsessive "she's the only one for me!" behavior?

As long as there's still music I'm down for this. But, to be faaaaaaiiiirrrr, the Beast locked up her dad, too. And then he locked up Belle for the express purpose of grooming her to love him. So Gaston is still winning in the "fucked up things done to Belle" department.

Absolutely has to be a musical. Maybe it's just a play, we don't have to go full feature-film here. Do we have enough SC2 memers to act the play out over a video call? full disclosure: I haven't done theater since Freshman year of high school and I don't think I can sing