Mostly Edible Humanoid

@PoopVampire

stop what you're doing and listen to The Faint's Pandora station

Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2012.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    Dane Cook will eventually evolve into Swedish Chef right

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    “I have a lot of twitter followers” - obnoxious - who cares - everyone knows you’re unemployed “I command a small army of depressed bisexuals” - intriguing - you could stage a military coup - people who won’t ask if you have a job

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    An older woman came into the bookstore today. I made a joke about a credit card reader issue and she said "these things are all programmed by twenty-five-year-old boys who don't comment their code" and somehow we ended up having a great conversation about programming and biases.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    this is what the internet used to be like

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    This will make you 180 so fast you’ll leave your eyes behind like in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. 👀

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj
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  7. 2. velj

    If I don't make any mortal enemies today I get a candy at the checkout

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    oh tight my mom subscribed to my patreon. you know, the one where i talk about how i hate 69ing and how i want michael madsen to bust me up like a piece of lumber

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    Top 3 toes

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj
    Tweet je nedostupan.
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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    "Pride flags aren't real flags they're made up" as opposed to real natural flags we find growing in the wild or something

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    I love to make spaghetti using rice. simply pour tomato sauce over rice and eat it with chomp sticks 😋 💬 583 ♻️ 862 ❤️ 209 | | Berniebots out in full force today but it's literally GOOD to eat sp*ghetti w rice, and honestly gross/shitty/classist/ableist to claim otherwise ✋

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  14. 1. velj

    humans are just long nutrient extraction tubes that learned to walk and then got too preoccupied with each other, but yeah also we are a needlessly-maligned cuisine

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    no holden caufield but people do be kinda phony

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Incredible stuff folks we love to see it

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    It is very weird that boobs are like so sexual but also just for milk. Like what if penises also had Caesar salad.

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    Scooby Doo is basically a show that teaches kids that the villains in our lives are usually not strangers, but rather people we know & trust

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    playing doom on a hacked pregnancy test, stopping every 5 mins to piss on it to get extra health

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    These impeachment hearings are like if Sesame Street was trying to figure out if Cookie Monster ate all the cookies

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  21. 30. sij

    I have exactly one picture of myself on this phone so it will have to do

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