The glass jar theory is yet another comforting lie that allistics tell themselves to prevent introspection into who are the ones with a communication problem.
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Another one comforting lie that allistics tell themselves, is that deep down everyone is allistic, that neurodiversity is skindeep. "aren't we all a bit ____?"
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This lie is comforting: it allows you to imagine that everyone is like you, with identical values, pains, and abilities. It lets you exert less empathy.
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This comforting lie means allistics lack, on a fundamental level, the ability to communicate with people who actually, in reality, are not just allistics "trapped inside a shell"
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You can see this empathy gap across every intersection. Cis people unable to stop gawking about trans genitals, het people asking "which one's the husband?" Ablebodied people accusing people in wheelchairs of faking, etc
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The ability to simply not accept that another person's interiority and experience may differ, drastically, from one's own. That sounds like an empathy problem.
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It's an empathy problem, that occurs across every power differential. Men who simply cannot accept that every woman they know, has been sexually harassed in public
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Thin people who cannot honestly recall ever hearing someone shout slurs at a fat person in public, etc.
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It's an empathy problem, and it's one that is at the root of how allistics perceive the world. Except, it's always oddly turned into someone else's problem with communication.
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Is it any wonder that spaces not hostile to autistic people, tend to also not be hostile toward allistics with other intersections?
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Don't forget 4chan; autistic people can usually be just as nasty and unempathetic as everyone else. The spaces you refer to have been deliberately optimized for kindness, inclusion and awareness of different traits.
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