i dont think this is most people's problem
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Replying to @puddinghoax @simpolism and
No, but it is a very common problem for folks with social anxiety. I find it very difficult to negotiate with drivers or hairdressers that I'd prefer to just think rather than discuss sports. I understand why they do it. I don't even dare to ask them to turn off radio advertising
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Replying to @Plinz @simpolism and
What I really find annoying is when the dentist wants to have small talk. I'm sorry, I can't talk, there's something in my mouth.
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Replying to @daniel_houck @Plinz and
Everybody else I can put up with and do the unpleasant small talk, but really, why do dentists try to talk to their patients?
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Replying to @daniel_houck @Plinz and
For the vast majority of (neurotypical) people, small talk puts them at ease, as it signals respect for and conformance with social norms i.e. non-outgroup.
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Replying to @simpolism @Plinz and
I'm not sure I buy that (I think there are too many introverts for it to be the "vast majority"), but either way, that explains everybody except the dentist.
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Replying to @daniel_houck @simpolism and
I am definitely not an introvert, but I find small talk extremely stressful. I can understand its importance for negotiating social alignment, but that effort mostly goes to waste if I try to socially align myself with a cab driver I will never meet again.
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Replying to @Plinz @daniel_houck and
Socially align yourself? Can you elaborate on your perception of how small talk works?
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Replying to @simpolism @daniel_houck and
Nerds default to use communication for exchanging information, humans default to use communication for negotiating their social graph. The latter is objectively more useful but cannot use much novel content.
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Replying to @Plinz @daniel_houck and
Small talk is a fundamentally different type of communication than "normie friends social interaction".
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Yes, friends have already established their social relationship. They will reinforce it and negotiate the outskirts of their respective groups together, but they will focus much more on content than normies who don't know each other well.
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