when you get angry, people tell you that you need to calm down. this is incorrect. what you need is to learn to act sensibly while angry, especially in disregarding the social scripts provided to you for acting it out, and to harness the energy your anger is providing you
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Replying to @chaosprime
in dealing with an often angry 9yo, I notice that anger is not a useful state to determine the best course of action, because anger impairs self reflection and meta management, but an appeal to being less angry is not fruitful, for exactly that reason
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Replying to @Plinz
i would be curious if you were to have or obtain any results on calling for self reflection and meta management despite/working through the impairment rather than calling for state change
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Replying to @chaosprime
no, calling for state change is usually not helpful; best strategy is usually 1. acting out energy (physically), 2. fully expressing and acknowledging the grievance, but not from the position of the anger but from the position of the concern, 3. negotiation of plan or integration
3 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
however, if the angry person is just in screaming mode, it may be necessary to point out that screaming prevents useful interaction, appeal to need for self regulation, and provide opportunity to calm down and/or switch context
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