I used to hire freelance writers in my previous role, and it's interesting to reflect on who my favorite writers were, who I would refer to others. it wasn't necessarily the "best" writers. It was those who "I could work with", those who didn't waste my time
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I actually didn't really mind average-ish writing – I can help with that. I can challenge you to be better. But what I can't deal with is if *you* can't deal with being challenged. I actually didn't even really mind flaky writers who disappeared on me. Comes with the territory
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the worst case outcome isn't a writer who's average-ish, or a writer who ghosts me. the worst case is a writer who takes criticism too personally, and ends up playing this tedious, drawn-out edit-war game where we both just get tired and frustrated & nobody's happy
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I think this is true for everything! it's true for dates, it's true for colleagues, true for friends if it isn't a good fit, being able to mutually acknowledge it and move on is actually a good sign. you might even consider referring that person in a different context
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I used to be a much more disagreeable person as a kid, arguing for sport & lulz on retrospect I'm surprised I only lost a handful of friends. I think I did have a kindness under the abrasiveness but... why be abrasive at all? it makes your friends nervous & secretive around you
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Replying to @visakanv
Most of my friends are outspoken and a bit abrasive. I find that a stressful interaction style but clearly if I gravitate to those people I must like something about them. I think I’m drawn to people who have interesting things to say, and that goes with a certain edginess.
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Replying to @s_r_constantin @visakanv
If I go to a room full of strangers and try to socialize, the easiest person for me to befriend is the slightly hyper guy (and it’s usually a guy) who’s holding forth on something he’s passionate about. There’s an obvious way to connect to him.
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Replying to @s_r_constantin @visakanv
And a really common pattern in that guy is being *really* exercised about how everyone is doing it WRONG. Even I find it easy to monologue engagingly about “you have NO IDEA how fucked this industry is, you sweet summer child. Let me tell you my hilarious horror stories.”
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Replying to @s_r_constantin @visakanv
(There’s a female style of this I like a lot too: Evelyn Deavor from Incredibles 2. Funny, urbane, cynical, brilliant woman with a drink in her hand, bitching about how dumb They are, and how much cooler We in this conversation are. I know a few people like this & they’re great.)
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Replying to @s_r_constantin @visakanv
The trouble with “negative” people is that they can be relentlessly depressing. But the initial appeal of opinionated extroverts is that they’re so easy to get to know. I tend to mirror; if you put up a facade, I’ll put up mine, and we’ll never get close.
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I suspect what makes nerds so easy to get along with is the absence of a social interface layer, both as firewall (because they are less sensitive to the sentiments of others) and as as manipulation. Normies often hold back because they try to predict if others will like them.
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