It seems to be a bad idea to me to deliberately inflate the self esteem of children. If they are smart they notice the gaslighting, if they are not they develop impostor syndrome. Both undermines their ability to properly judge and regulate their relationship to the world.
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The way children should build their self esteem is through smart parenting. You allow the child to be exposed to real world problems and you encourage them to resolve these problems themselves. This builds confidence. As their confidence increases, you move the guardrails.
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You have to be willing to let the child fail, to experience the agony of defeat, but don’t allow them to quit. Every defeat is a lesson, and the parent’s job is to help the child develop patterns of behavior which lead to success.
End of conversation
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