Do you have kids, or is this an abstract theory?
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I have children, and I take them very seriously as human beings.
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I don’t think that effort matters. Skill minimizes effort while maximizing results. Maximizing effort is a cargo cult (attention and self regulation are not).
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Also wanted to say, that "inflate the self esteem" in this sense is just inappropriate feedback. But feedback should contain in itself not only negative part, but positive part, otherwise you definitely gain impostor syndrome because it will never be enough to be worthy.
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I agree that the self esteem of a child should also not be deflated. It should be accurate. Btw, the majority of people with impostor syndrome are actually not very good, because judging ability is almost always part of being good at something.
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Children (and adults) should be taught that self-worth should be intrinsic and internally built, arrived at by self-examination and personal effort, not externally validated/dependent, and that their limits in life are (almost) entirely self-imposed.
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I think that honest feedback from others is incredibly important, and that it should be given and understood independently from judgements of esteem, which is a different category.
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You might like the book "the mindset".
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