There seem to be a lot of meditative teachers who are genuinely malicious. I met a meditation teacher today who was nothing but an angry bully towards me despite her attempted veneer of presence. Subtle but intense and conscious anger. Meditation culture is not prepared for them.
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But shared purpose isnt measureable: diff tasks have diff measures of accuracy: 1 measure of how accurately I've "owned a house" is whether the deed is safe from destruction by some class of criminal methods. But no corresponding measure of how accurately I've "eaten breakfast".
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In your case, the negotiation of an establishment of shared purpose failed: you did not know how to connect via the heart, and she did not know how to connect via reason.
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