Please Help Me!

@PleaseHelpArgh

ARGH PLEASE HELP ME! I'm always getting assaulted in unlikely ways by the glitterati, so I've started a twitter thing to ask for your advice.

Joined May 2017

Tweets

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  1. 3 hours ago

    Sup! I've got and impersonating Wayne and Garth in my 'badly-wrapped kebab' again!

    Undo
  2. 6 hours ago

    Look here! There's 30 akbashs doing a Aided Piledriver fondly through 's smarts!

    Undo
  3. 9 hours ago

    just screwed 21 beagles through my colossal cack! Please help! Duh!

    Undo
  4. 12 hours ago

    stole my favourite pest control worker.

    Undo
  5. 15 hours ago

    By the mighty Yog-Sothoth I will remove 's pee-pee from my gonad if it kills me! By golly!

    Undo
  6. 18 hours ago

    has the most sensitive plums I have ever seen.

    Undo
  7. 21 hours ago

    's pet Ainu dog is called Kamil Martinez and wishes it was a private detective.

    Undo
  8. 24 hours ago

    I have grossed 's pair of scissors... Gangway!

    Undo
  9. Jan 4

    What kind of name is Lino Watson for 's Snowy sheathbill anyway? -res

    Undo
  10. Jan 4

    Who is The Rt. Hon. Lady Justice Tarondor of Gondor Auden and why has shoved him bashfully in my chyle?

    Undo
  11. Jan 3

    's pet hummingbird is called Mîm Henry and wishes it was a producer.

    Undo
  12. Jan 3

    did a Back Kick neatly inside my rheum!

    Undo
  13. Jan 3

    Easy does it! There's 37 rock hyraxs doing a Aided Headscissors Takedown mockingly up 's earholes!

    Undo
  14. Jan 3

    propelled that river dolphin truly in 's gam and is blaming me!

    Undo
  15. Jan 3

    just jammed 47 Southern fulmars up my laureate chyme! Please help! Hoo!

    Undo
  16. Jan 3

    just donkey punched 38 South polar skuas up my idiotic 'bat cave'! Please help! Ready!

    Undo
  17. Jan 3

    I have scheduled 's insides... Gracious!

    Undo
  18. Jan 3

    just launched 3 clouded leopards inside my teeny junk! Please help! Egads!

    Undo
  19. Jan 2

    -Jones donkey punched 's midsection cautiously up my keister! Hee!

    Undo
  20. Jan 2

    did a double dropkick on me in the name of historicism!

    Undo

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