Tim

@Playing_Dad

We learned more from a three-minute record, baby, than we ever learned in school

United States
Joined April 2012

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    4 Nov 2012

    Sitting at my daughter's pretend restaurant. The service is horrible here and the prices are outrageous.

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  2. Retweeted

    Whatever happens, I'm glad we have two elite managers of the clock, ready to see this a conclusion.

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  3. Retweeted

    . my son just humped a hole into our sectional couch i hope ur happy

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  4. Retweeted
    18 hours ago

    My daughter feels strongly about female representation esp in country music. She found out country stations aren't allowed to play two females back to back and she was so outraged she started this petition. Do me a favor and take a sec to click and sign!

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  5. Retweeted

    You knock on the melon to test freshness but something knocks back

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  6. Retweeted

    Just cremated my dad. Now who's never going to amount to anything?

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  7. Retweeted

    Tim Roberts: End Female Country Music Prejudice! - Sign the Petition! via

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  8. 18 hours ago

    My daughter feels strongly about female representation esp in country music. She found out country stations aren't allowed to play two females back to back and she was so outraged she started this petition. Do me a favor and take a sec to click and sign!

    Undo
  9. Retweeted

    When you first joined Twitter vs. Today.

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  10. Retweeted
    Feb 1

    In England, math is called crisps

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  11. Retweeted
    Jan 31

    The Senate The Mafia 🤝 “No Witnesses”

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  12. Retweeted
    Jan 29

    These super detailed photos of the sun's surface are amazing!

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  13. Retweeted
    Jan 29
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  14. Jan 29
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  15. Retweeted

    I just responded 'I'm good' to a text & autocorrect changed it to 'I'm hood' so yeah-I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

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  16. Jan 29

    Not trying to brag but I've been selected by Twitter to take a brief survey

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  17. Retweeted
    4 Nov 2012

    Sitting at my daughter's pretend restaurant. The service is horrible here and the prices are outrageous.

    Undo
  18. Retweeted

    Republican senators when presented with evidence of the President’s crimes

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  19. Retweeted

    Always be tolerant of your wife’s flaws because if she didn’t have them, maybe she could have gotten a better husband.

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  20. Retweeted

    We don't see enough people chasing each other across rooftops anymore

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  21. Retweeted
    Jan 20

    *Wile E Coyote comes out of building, looks both ways and speed walks away*

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