Pique Resilience Project

@PiqueResProject

A collective of detransitioned & desisted women introducing nuanced conversation that empowers.

Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2019.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    Check out our first podcast here, and stay tuned for more coming soon! 💯

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  2. If you’re taking Dr. Littman’s new study about detransition as someone who doesn’t qualify for it... you do realize that you’re adding to the number of detransitioners right? that you so desperately want to stay a tiny population, even though we just want to know a true number?

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  3. Not cool Jesse, not handsome Jesse, not male Jesse, just whatever Jesse I ended up being. And the people who matter see the real me no matter what. I still deal with dysphoria. but I wonder if, with this research, we can really really help people understand it.

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  4. a couple months passed, and it wasn’t until I found a trauma therapist thanks to helena’s sweet love and help, to really help me get to the bottom of what was going on. HRT did help me but not the way I needed it to. I needed to know I could be me, for myself and no one else.

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  5. eventually stopped seeing the gender therapist and spent a lot of months in isolation. I like to joke that the cure for dysphoria is sometimes months in isolation. the dark times ended with helena and I taking a random ski trip to Colorado, and realizing that we CAN detransition

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  6. My therapist knows about all this, and she knows i’m traumatized. Only shes a gender therapist. So she just keeps suggesting I try a new gender identity. Her: what about they/them? maybe you’re non-binary? you felt comfortable with that in the past Me: i’m a man i’m just /not/

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  7. The whole time I’m high 24/7, ripping myself to metaphorical shreds, and watching my life crumble around me, my trans friends are doing the same thing. they’re also on twitter, responding to my selfie with hollow red eyes and stubble, with endless “you look so handsome jesse!”’s

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  8. I didn’t want to give up T, the one good thing in my life that actually made me feel like a person (my mentality at the time), so I tried dealing with my rage & nightmares & panic other ways. I basically ended up just doing a lot of drugs to numb the emotional pain.

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  9. But I had developed PTSD without realizing what that meant until years down the line from this point. I was living my life day to day like I was under extreme pressure. T made me more full of rage than I’ve ever been. I’d get scary. I’d self-harm & self-hate.

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  10. trauma responses. I felt good when I did my T shot but didn’t understand why I still had nightmares and didn’t understand why I still had panic attacks or why I was still so DYSPHORIC despite passing and changing my name & gender legally. I wanted surgery.

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  11. A personal example of this - being traumatized may impact transition decisions. I started HRT while still living near my abuser aka while my body was still in hypervigilant defense mode, so when I moved away and was still on T, I was so focused on T changes I ignored my body’s

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  12. No doctor wants to make their patient feel worse in the long run, so perhaps those factors would be selected as a primary focus in therapy for individuals very adamant about HRT/SRS just to ensure the issue that is deeply affecting them is actually addressed prior to care.

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  13. If you can flag factors in a patient seeking to start HRT that are on trend with patients who have been on HRT for years but detransitioned after some time, you could potentially stop that person from making a decision that ultimately makes them feel worse.

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  14. If you have compassion for trans people and detransitioned people alike, I don’t see why you’d waste your time inputting fake data when a primary goal of this research is to note factors that may contribute to someone’s decision to transition/detransition. Beneficial to everyone.

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  15. Does ROGD exist? Who knows! But we shouldn’t be angry at Dr. Littman for exploring that as an initial concept when we are all apart of a demographic of people who were encouraged to find ourselves by any means necessary, including intense medical support over time.

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  16. To say detransition happens is not to say trans people do not and will not exist. We need to study it because we all assume at this point, based on the amount of people seeking help and support post surgery & transition, it’s a larger population than most current data reflects.

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  17. Still though - there’s no information out there as to why HRT didn’t “work” for me. Or for the other young people who thought transition would solve the deep discomfort they have with themselves and the world around them. Even trans-identified people feel this way.

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  18. I definitely don’t pass as male anymore nor do I want to; it’s a more comfortable to dress similar to how I did while trans-identified, speak the same (just not as deep so I’m not damaging the vocal chords I love to use to sing), and to keep valuing my bonds to the men in my life

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  19. I wake up dysphoric still. I have days where I still wish I was male, still wish I had a flat chest, still wish I had male genitalia (for the purpose of reproduction as having womb potential makes me dysphoric). Two years into my detransition, and I still get sir’d occasionally.

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  20. When we detransitioned, we didn’t magically lose our dysphoria or the bodies so affected by hormones and the like. Even years after stopping testosterone, after your estrogen normalizes again, you’re still left with the clitoris that grew with T that you wanted to be a penis.

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  21. Detransitioners, for all intents and purposes in the medicine, are still trans people. What do detransitioners and trans people have in common? Having received the same treatment (HRT/SRS), GD diagnosis and/or consent to transition via therapy and/or IC. & living with dysphoria.

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