Note that someone can say or think something transphobic w/o being a full-on transphobe. Ignorance, privilege, obstinacy play parts.
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Where the line is drawn depends mainly on how they react when they learn they're acting from ignorance and privilege.
End of conversation
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Inb4 someone says they aren't transphobic because they aren't afraid. See OED and Merriam-Webster definitions of transphobia, please.
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I'm definitely not. All I care about is if you are a creep or not. Good people always have good friends. – at Cheney Lake & State Park
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