Google pledging to help journalism is like the Mafia offering to clean up the bottom of the East River.
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"You'll find the new Android UI on any Android device that has software updates." It's like the Willy Wonka golden ticket.
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(My apologies to Googlers exposed to my relentless bullying. Be strong.)
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"Many developers call this concept 'meaningful engagement'". Building a business model on your attention while being sanctimonious about how you spend your time is the most American thing ever
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New gesture called "shush", activated by throwing phone across the room
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Weird Google Maps demo that is also hyper-targeted at, basically, Google employees who live in New York or San Francisco. "Which four star restaurant is trending this week" is not as pressing a topic in Cody, WY.
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The traditional way of discovering new neighborhood businesses "go outside" doesn't have a lot of traction with the kind of people who have Starbucks delivered to their crunch mode startup.
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Google has figured out how to crowdsource data collection for street view by calling it "auto navigation". Simply point the camera at everything around you, dear citizen
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This is like the 40th reference to a sports thing in this demo. Every nerd on stage has made an awkward reference to sportsball
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"If you see an outfit that catches your eye" you can now point your Google Lens phone at it and buy it online. I think the big reveal at the end of this demo is that it was prepared entirely by machine learning, not human beings.
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Now we're on to self-driving cars. My dream for San Francisco is one of high-capacity self-driving cars on dedicated rights of way
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LOL, to talk about car safety they are bringing out a guy named... Dmitri. I am a proud Slav, but this is not the topic you want one of us presenting on
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Integrated DNA testing in the wheel well allows us not only to detect pedestrians, but to automatically notify next-of-kin
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If you enjoyed this thread, please help support ten Congressional candidates who will hopefully tax and regulate Google into a smoking crater once they're in office. I'll live-tweet that too!https://secure.actblue.com/donate/great_slate …
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