"As you walk with your iPhone, the motion sensors detect how fast and easily you walk, as well as the length and timing of each step." The iPhone's M1 chip analyzes this data on die and decides in real time whether to direct you to a late night kebab shop
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At this pace of innovation, maybe in 2030 we'll get the Apple feature where you can save an audio file to a different device and it will play.
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At least now Apple now lets your elderly relatives securely share their encrypted heartbeat with you as you try to walk them out of some seven-layer-deep keyboard shortcut. It lends a nice Edgar Allan Poe touch to intergenerational tech support
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Still waiting for the part of the Apple event where we all pretend like it's a gaming machine
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Misheard the announcement that they're introducing concurrency for Swift as "cryptocurrency" and nearly had a heart attack that would have been duly registered on my iPhone.
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Please tell me that this is how coding works in Swift, that you draw these squiggly blue lines on your iWatch and it sets up all the mutexes and shitpic.twitter.com/HO7xsyfrnI
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Apple now boasting that it's paid a quarter trillion dollars in app fees to developers on the platform where it keeps a third of the money.
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Why does a cloud need a blueprint and where does the hammer figure in? How do these people win all the design awards?pic.twitter.com/HfgnqZ2NCz
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I guess XCode now compiles your code in the cloud so your CPU can focus on rendering a 90 megabyte Apple web page
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We're at the part of the event where everyone is afraid Tim Cook will bring out U2
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"Oh and one more thing," Cook says, turning back to the camera. "Use Pinboard! Until we clone it!"
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End of conversation
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