New set of keyboard shortcuts will allow your cat's ass to lock you out of your iPad in a way that persists across factory resets
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(Yes, I'm fitness shaming an Apple presenter. They get paid to deal with it)
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WatchOS is the kingdom every faction in Game of Thrones conquered just on principlepic.twitter.com/GTYeRSuZss
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No word on whether Apple is keeping the feature that auto-plays the last tab you opened in Safari at max volume on the biggest screen in BlueTooth range. Always a fun icebreaker with the cable guy or Uber driver.
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Now we're on to the new Mac OS version, Monterey, and here I have to confess there are like 19 different modal views that Apple offers now and I don't understand any of them Focus, Expose, Mission Control, App Panel (is that a thing?), weird desktops that swipe in from hyperspace
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Apple bro is demonstrating a feature that throws your cursor onto another device's screen if you scroll off the window in that direction. Happy to learn there's a collaborative activity for me and my mom to talk about through many unscheduled phone conversations to come
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"My cursor is missing!" "It's okay, relax. I am sure we'll find it. What was the last Apple device you saw it on?"
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At this pace of innovation, maybe in 2030 we'll get the Apple feature where you can save an audio file to a different device and it will play.
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At least now Apple now lets your elderly relatives securely share their encrypted heartbeat with you as you try to walk them out of some seven-layer-deep keyboard shortcut. It lends a nice Edgar Allan Poe touch to intergenerational tech support
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Still waiting for the part of the Apple event where we all pretend like it's a gaming machine
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Misheard the announcement that they're introducing concurrency for Swift as "cryptocurrency" and nearly had a heart attack that would have been duly registered on my iPhone.
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Please tell me that this is how coding works in Swift, that you draw these squiggly blue lines on your iWatch and it sets up all the mutexes and shitpic.twitter.com/HO7xsyfrnI
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Apple now boasting that it's paid a quarter trillion dollars in app fees to developers on the platform where it keeps a third of the money.
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Why does a cloud need a blueprint and where does the hammer figure in? How do these people win all the design awards?pic.twitter.com/HfgnqZ2NCz
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I guess XCode now compiles your code in the cloud so your CPU can focus on rendering a 90 megabyte Apple web page
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We're at the part of the event where everyone is afraid Tim Cook will bring out U2
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"Oh and one more thing," Cook says, turning back to the camera. "Use Pinboard! Until we clone it!"
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End of conversation
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