Two turns in and already I can see how this smirking bastard dough is going to fuck me. It feeds off fear, but frustration and anger is its dessert.
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Replying to @Pinboard
How the fuck did you roll out a 300g 40cm beurrage? Was Paul Hollywood just fucking trolling me?
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Replying to @tqbf
Have you watched the shows where it's just him and Mary Berry demonstrating recipes? It's enraging. He doesn't even get flour on his cuffs and just does stuff like roll out a perfect rectangle of butter. In my case, I smashed it into a rectangle, fixed the shape, and cooled it
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Specifically I let 3 sticks of butter get soft enough to squash, rolled them into a roughly correct-sized shape on wax paper, trimmed and patched the mess into a rectangle, then cooled it all in the fridge until it was a cold slab
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You can also watch YouTube videos of how to do it, which is about as helpful as watching YouTube videos of how to dunk a basketball
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