I'd also enjoy reading one that started "as an alcoholic slob pushing seventy who hasn't washed his hands since the Ford administration, I knew from early January I was a dead man"https://www.theonion.com/loved-ones-recall-local-mans-cowardly-battle-with-cance-1819565052 …
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The other fun one is “had no underlying comorbidity factor except [respiratory disease] in childhood”
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I also saw “I’m not a smoker — I quit years ago”
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