We're lucky the epidemic hit the US after Super Tuesday, or half of twitter would be calling it "establishmentvirus" and crying darkest conspiracy
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This is our chance, a Secretary of Good Boyes.
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You mock me, but who will be laughing when eating Totino's Frozen Pepperoni Pizza is mandatory?
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You know damn well I will welcome our new roof-of-mouth-incinerating overlords
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Crises precipitate change.
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Pinhead
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Your parents sacrificed so much to get you here, and this is the zinger you try to make them proud with?
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Perhaps I could interest you in news about another calamity yet to come that will render us all pliant whether we will or no.
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