My timeline is full of people scared that Russia now has a picture of their face, and I feel like I'm in one of those Twilight Zone episodes they had to throw together during a writers' strike. The Russians will replace us, one by one, wearing sinister latex masks! Trust no one!
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Remember when you downloaded that Pokemon game with all permissions enabled, and took video of the inside of your house? Or when you bought the surveillance microphone for your home? Or when someone hacked the OPM database? That was all training for this deadly Russian face app.
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The app is part of a frightening KGB operation called "Обратный Дориан Грей," where anyone who used the app will find the aging process has accelerated markedly, while their ever-more-youthful portrait hangs in a disused hallway in Lubyanka
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