Apple event! I'll do it but I want political money.
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The recycled aluminum milestone was accomplished by inventing a new alloy engineered "at the atomic level." Jony Ive felt the 14 neutrons slid around and interfered with the whisper-quiet opening of the hinge. Moving them into an open-face cubic configuration was the breakthrough
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The new Mac Mini! From the outside it looks the same, but we've replaced the inside with our proprietary brand of luncheon meat. Meet the new Mac Bento
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The new MacMini is a raised middle finger to iPhone and MacBook Pro users, and I kind of love it. "You want ports? I got your ports right here, asshole. Mac Mini!"pic.twitter.com/oSOOaN6uvb
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"We think of retail as our largest product, and the architecture is our hardware, and the experience inside is our software" so we will begin soldering our employees' legs to the floor
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Presentation has veered off into a fantasy land where going to an Apple store is about anything other than hunting through crowds for an employee to buy an $80 dongle
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Lose the logo and this is what us Polish kids were told communism would look likepic.twitter.com/Cg0Brl9csm
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Apple employees cheer as Tim Cook announces the company will be raising their wages. Lol j/kpic.twitter.com/VcrDUUHEf2
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With its bigger, brighter screen, the new iPad is nearly the size of an iPhone
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"The iPad is now almost exactly the same size as an 8.5x11 piece of paper," and it is exactly the same size as a slightly smaller piece of paper
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The new iPad is 15% thinner, so people's minds aren't blown by the incredible battery life
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If I'm reading the slide right, this iPad is 7 nanometers thin.
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