Gate agent is welcoming people by name. Uh-oh. "Andrew, have a good flight! Patricia, welcome!" I hand her my ticket. "Please don't do it. You'll butcher it." "Mr…" "You'll butcher it." "I can do it! Mr…" "I promise you'll butcher it" "Mr [hideous sounds]! Did I get it right?"
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I can understand butchering a written name, e.g. "Leif" sounds like "Leaf", by the rules of English phonetics, but what's their excuse when they haven't seen it written, i.e. they're just parroting what I say?
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I say "Layf" twice for the lady behind the counter, and what she writes on my order is literally "Leave"??
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