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Tim Williamson's epistemic theory of vagueness is another possible approach - vague concepts have sharp, unknowable boundaries - but it's highly counterintuitive.
Alternatively, you could eschew all the philosophy, and just read Everyday Feminism or Buzzfeed, because I'm sure that'll do just as well.
And finally, repeat after me - gender is a hierarchical, relational system, existing in a dialectical relationship with a biological substrate, that is imposed from the outside through inescapable patterns of socialization.
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